You know all those jokes you get on E-mail? You know how some are funnier than others? We just thought it would be fun to share some equestrian humor. This way you can see it without having to recycle it.
This is one that had to be shared...not meant to be "ha ha funny," but very pointed:
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20bill. In the room of 200, he asked, who would like this $20 bill? Hands started going up. He said, I am going to give this to one of you, but first, let me do this.
He proceeded to crumple the bill up. He asked , Who still wants it? Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, what if I do this? He dropped it on the ground, and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. Now, who still wants it? Still hands went into the air.
My Friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what i did to the money, you still wanted it, because, it did not decrease in value. It was still worth 20 dollars.
Many times in out lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel that we are worthless, but, no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.
The worth of our lives come not in what we or who we know, but, by who we are. You are special, don't ever forget it!!
Pass this on to those you care about. Even the one who sent it to you. You will never know the lives it touches the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring.
Always count your blessings. Not your problems.
EVER NEED TO KNOW HOW...
To induce labor in a mare?Take a nap.
To cure equine constipation?Load them in a clean trailer.
To cure equine insomnia?Take them in a halter class.
To get a horse to stay very calm and laid back?Enter them in a liberty class.
To get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
To get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show.
To get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.
To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal youalways wanted? Sell her before she foals.
To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch? Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him.
To induce a cold snap in the weather?Clip a horse.
To make it rain? Mow a field of hay.
To make a small fortune in the horse business? Start with a large one.
One day in heaven, Saint Peter, Saint Paul and SaintJohn were standing around near the horse paddocks watching the horses frolic.
"I am certainly bored," stated John.
"Me too," Paul chimed in.
Peter stood and watched the horses. "I know!" Peter began. "Why don't we have a horse show?"
Paul and John thought that the idea was great except for one small detail that Paul pointed out. "Who are we to compete against, Peter?" Paul asked.
The trio pondered a moment when Peter realized the answer. "We will callup Satan and invite him to the horse show. I mean, we have all of the finest horses here in heaven, all of the World and National Champions are here. His stable is ridden with the spoiled, difficult and mean horses. We are certain to win at the show!" And so the trio calls up Satan on the other realm communication lines and invited him to their horse show. Satan laughed and asked why they would want to be humiliated like that, because he would certainly beat them.
Peter, Paul and John did not understand.
"What do you mean Satan?" Peter asked. "We have all of the National and World Champion horses in our stable in heaven. How could you possibly beat us?"
Satan paused a moment and then laughed. "Have you forgotten so soon gentlemen? I have all the judges!"
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